


Hacking and Slime

by Holtzmann1998



Series: Being Kates Girlfriend [25]
Category: Kate McKinnon-Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 12:18:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11058822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holtzmann1998/pseuds/Holtzmann1998
Summary: You hack Kate's phone out of boredom and she tries a new recipie for supper.





	Hacking and Slime

One of the things you do that irritates Kate to no end is you hack her passwords. You don't snoop or anything, you just enjoy how aggravated she gets when you show her an account of hers you get into. Email is the most popular because it is the closest she gets to social media. She doesn't put a password on her computer, but she has one on her phone. You guessed it right after the second attempt. It’s Nino’s birthday. Typical Kate. You decide to do a little snooping on Kate's phone. By snooping, you just go through her pictures. You already decided that anything else would be off limits, except for setting a random alarm to drive her nuts.  
“What are you doing with my phone?” Kate asks as she walks in the door and notices you sprawled out on the floor with her phone in your hands and Nino laying on your back. You hadn't even opened the photo app yet.  
“It's good to see you too, darling.” You smile to her. “I'm looking through the pictures on your phone.” You turn your attention back to the phone.   
“Why?” She asks, walking past you with paper bags full of groceries in her arms. You jump up, causing Nino to jump off you. You hold the phone in one hand and carry the cat in the other and follow her into the kitchen.  
“I'm bored.” Kate smiles at you lovingly as she places the bags on the kitchen counter.   
“You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat.” Kate says with a laugh. Nino lets out a loud grunt.   
“But satisfaction brought him back.” You grin as Kate takes the phone and the cat from you. “I wasn't done with that!” You whine.   
“She is now, isn't she my handsome little man?” Kate says in a baby voice to Nino as she puts her phone in her bra. “Whose my favorite little guy? You are, yes you are!” She walks out of the kitchen with the cat, leaving you with the groceries. You begin to put them away. It was a pact you made with Kate, she goes through the social interaction of buying groceries and you go through the antisocial interaction of putting them away. You dig through the three bags looking for something good.  
“What's this green stuff?” You call as you pull some leafy plant out of one of the bags.   
“A vegetable! If you ate things besides peanut butter and yogurt with m&m’s in it, you'd know!” Kate calls from the bedroom.  
“I hate yogurt.” You grumble as you pull several cups of it out of the same bag and place it next to the vegetable. “I only eat it because you won't stop buying it and I don't want to hurt your feelings.” You pick up the yogurt and the unknown vegetable and place them in their respective places in the fridge. You pull apples, bananas, oranges, peaches, and other fruits from the second bag and place them in a bowl on the table and a bowl on the counter. You groan as you open the third bag. It's full of cups of yogurt with m&m’s. To you, the yogurt itself had a horrible texture, like mashed potatoes, baby food, and gravy, but with a sour taste. It didn't come with nearly enough m&m's either. You throw the yogurt into the fridge and slowly open up the forth bag, praying it isn't yogurt.   
“I said I wasn't going to buy cookies.” Kate says from the kitchen doorway, causing you to jump. You remember you had asked her to get some because who doesn't want a cookie?  
“But we like cookies.” You say with puppy dog eyes.  
“But they aren't vegan.” Kate smiles.   
“But I'm not vegan.”  
“I'm trying it.” You give her a blank look. “I found an alternative for cookies I'll make you if you're good.” Kate walks over to you and the bag. She opens it and pulls out a container of berries, some more green vegetables, and other things you don't even know how to describe much less decide if they're edible. “I'm making us something special for supper.” She smiles. You walk over to the fridge and take out a cup of the awful yogurt. “Did you hear me?”  
“I heard you.” You sigh. “Whatever you make that contains all of that,” you point the cup to the food on the counter. “isn't going to taste good.” Kate smiles. “It probably won't taste much better than yogurt.” You think to yourself.  
“It's all natural, it'll be good for you.” Kate pushes her body close to you and puts one hand on your waist.  
“You know what else is all natural?” You say seductively with a wink.  
“What?’ She grins, mocking your tone. She bites her lip.  
“Arsenic.” You say flatly and with a straight face. She glares at you as she pulls away, taking the yogurt out of your hand.  
“You're at least trying it.” She says as she places the yogurt back in the fridge. “Now, let me work on my art.”   
“Whatever, babe.” You reply as you walk out of the kitchen and back into the living room. You pull Kate's phone out of your pocket. Leslie had taught you how to pickpocket when you were in high school. You unlock Kate's phone and open the photo app while you hear pots clanking, water running, and utensils clattering. You begin to look through her pictures, starting from the first one. It's one of her and Leslie. The next ten are the same but with different poses. Her phone is full of pictures of herself with other people, sometimes Leslie, sometimes a cast member, sometimes you. The rest of the pictures, except for the last three hundred, are of Nino doing Nino things. You smile as you look through the last three hundred pictures. They're all of you. You had no idea she took pictures of you like this. Some are of you playing a video game, some of you reading a book, some of you making a disgusted face while eating yogurt, some of you asleep with Nino, and many more. She has so many that if she weren't your girlfriend, Kate would seem like a stalker.   
“Supper is ready!” Kate calls to you. You walk back into the kitchen, handing Kate her phone. She looks surprised at it, reaches into her bra, glares at you, and takes the phone back. “Why? That's all I can ask.” She sighs as she rolls her eyes.  
“Curiosity, my dear stalker.” You wink as you sit at the table. You don't know what Kate cooked, there is a pot on the table but it's covered with a lid. You look at the pot worriedly.  
“It's super yummy!” Kate grins. “I can't wait to try it with you!”  
“Me either.” You lie. She uncovers the pot to reveal a green almost slime like blob. She takes a scoop and places it on your bowl and does the same for herself. It's steaming and jiggling like jello. “I've seen this thing in horror movies. It's going to eat us.” You think to yourself. You don't dare say anything to Kate. You pick up a forkful and smell it. The putrid scent makes you gag. Kate gives you a worried look.  
“Is something wrong?” She asks as she sits across from you.  
“No, I'm just admiring the shade of green.” You lie. You feel like Calvin from the comics when he's told to eat the mush his mom makes. You take a deep breath and shove the fork in your mouth. The texture of the glob is horrible. It's gritty and it melts, but only part of it melts. The rest is chunky and crunchy. It tastes worse than that time Kate told you not to drink the milk because it was expired and you did anyway because you don't listen, but with traces of dirt, soap, and cold medicine that is supposed to taste like bubble gum but tastes nothing like bubble gum, multiplied by a hundred. You force yourself to swallow the substance. You work hard to keep it from coming back up. You quickly scarf down the remainder of the green slime on your plate and eat a second and third helping. You hate that you hadn't eaten anything today. Kate picks at her plate.   
“You must really like it.” She grins excitedly to you.  
“I love it!” You lie again. You feel it putting up a fight in your stomach.   
“Really? I'll have to make it for you more often.”   
“No, that's too much work.” You reply, trying not to get sick.   
“It's better for you than that yogurt.” The reminder of the texture and taste of that damn yogurt was enough to send you rushing to the bathroom. You thought it was horrible going down, it was even worse going up. “Are you alright?” Kate asks as she appears behind you. She sits on the edge of the bathtub, holds your hair, and rubs your back as all the green substance frees itself.  
“K-Kate.” You gasp. “I-I have t-to be honest, that s-stuff was h-horrible.” More of it makes its way out of you.  
“I didn't like it either. But why did you eat so much of it?” She asks, concerned.  
“I-I didn't want to h-hurt your feelings.” The two of you are silent until all the green slime is out of you and in the toilet. You stand up, flush the toilet, wash your hands in the sink and splash cold water on your face, and flop down on the couch in the living room, curling into a ball.  
“You didn't have to do that, baby.” Kate says as she pushes hair out of your face. You shake your head and close your eyes. “Wait here.” She walks away and returns moments later with a metal bottle full of water and your favorite Ghostbusters Answer the Call II teddy bear she had given you while ago. “Drink this while I clean up.” She says as she hands you the bottle and places the bear in your free arm. You sip at the cold water and try to figure out what possessed you to eat such a horrible thing. You feel the bear in your arms and how soft and comforting it is. She goes back into the kitchen to clean up.  
“Because you love her, you idiot.” You finally think to yourself after a few minutes. “Damn, I do a lot of stupid things for people I love. If Leslie had done the same thing, I wouldn't hesitate to tell her how horrible it looked. Kate is different though, I want to protect her and make her smile.” You start to fall asleep as the pain in your stomach begins to subside.  
“You feel any better?” Kate asks as she sits on the arm of the couch by your head. She gently strokes your hair. You nod. “Do you feel like eating something? I know you haven't eaten today.” You look at her, eyes wide in exhaustion and fear. She's holding something behind her back. “I made it, but it'll taste a lot better. At least eat a few bites.” She brings a plate with a sandwich on it from behind her back. You look at it. “Its peanut butter, one of your main food groups.” She smiles gently. The last thing you want to do is eat, but Kate made the sandwich just for you. You sit up and Kate slides next to you. You take the sandwich off the place, tear it in half, and begin munching on one of the halves.  
“Thank you.” You say softly. Kate wraps an arm around your shoulder.   
“You're welcome.” She leans her head on your shoulder. Peanut butter never tasted so good.   
“Hey, Kate?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Why are there so many pictures of me doing stupid stuff on your phone?” She lets out a soft laugh.   
“People pose for pictures, it isn't natural. Whenever I have to go somewhere for a few days or even when I'm at the studio, I miss you and the way you do things. I take pictures when you're not looking so when I'm away and miss you, I can see you and it makes me happy having someone to go home to.”   
“Why are you so sweet?” You say with a mouthful of sandwich.   
“Because I love you.” She grins as she kisses the top of your head. In that moment, eating the green goop was worth it, just barely, but still worth it.


End file.
